Here's to another year of experience

HELLO


So we're in the end of 2011?
Time fly so fast. Living in a year but never feeling an exactly year.
What the hell I'm doing in the past of this year?


Like mainstream people do, they wrote about #2011memories or #thx2011 or #2012wish on their timeline for remembering what they have done in 2011 and what would they do in 2012.
Flash back, kaleidoscope.
Then it replace with resolution, rebirth, something new.
I just the same. But as usual, don't expect me to write in here or anywhere else. Would you accept my apology, dear bloogy? I got it as a yes.


New year eve?
My super family around me, long chit-chat, candle (real candle) light dinner, pray, laughter.
Who needs anything else?


Well, here's to another year of experience.
Formality, aproximately in 1 hour from now : Good Bye 2011 and Welcome 2012.


p.s. Finally I can drive after wasted my time for about 20 years. 
p.s.s Whatever the comments is, but, at least I can drive.

Pop Art Painting

HELLO


Finally, I'm back to the place called home. It's a victory.. (applause please)
Because of the limited time so I made 'Holiday Project List' ! (applause again, please)
Okay wait, did you said that it's just a word and I would never finish all the list?
No, my dear. You're wrong. I bet it, I'll do it in a short time of holiday.


"When is the last time you did something for the first time?"


From that statement, I've decided what will I do.
And no, I won't write the list here, but I'll tell you some project that I've done.
A few days ago, my mom and dad have their 21th wedding anniversary. Oh and there was Mother's day on 22th December.
Randomly, I made it, Pop Art Painting for the gift.
Why? Because video is too mainstream (for me) so I decided to make another one.
Actually, it's not a real pop art because I think it's kinda amateur but yeah, satisfied enough with the result.
It took almost one day for finishing 2 paintings.
When I did this, my old passion comes up, but well it doesn't matter.
So here it is :

Pop Art Painting : Mother's Day

(Canvas 30x40 cm, Acrylic) 

Pop Art Painting : Happy 21th Wedding Anniversary

(Canvas 30x40 cm, Acrylic) 

Not that good, but whatever.
Anyway, one mission accomplished.
Next?


p.s. I've a secret random project of stupidity (about them) but it's impossible to post in here, maybe later hehe

Holiday scent

HELLO


Holiday scent is coming! Are you excited?
I think this semester passed quickly, it's like just a few moment after I came back from Russia but now we're in the end of semester.
No matter what, as usual, holiday is not always gonna be a pure holiday.
So many tasks to do and some tasks may get you frustrated, but hey! It's holiday!
Just relax even it just for a moment :)


So before the end of 2011,
Never think why stupidity is always crawls in.
Impulsive, as usual.
You'll never know about random time except you get through this.

Enjoy your time, happy holiday! :)


p.s. Guess how many holiday project that I'll resolve?

It's not about the essence

HELLO

So exams is over, wish for the best result and reach my target.
Randomly, I'm writing you some of my depressed.
Today is not good. Not good.
I talk about stupidity, not you. Don't praise yourself.
Having (some) conflict again, I don't like it and I don't want to make it far enough.
The important things in a friendship is not about essence, but how we're going through this with our own way.
Please understand, we shouldn't be like this.
Let's be normal, kids.

***

Out from stupidity,
You know, the closer to the date of the mark, I'm not even happier.
Not mainstream, because for normal people, they should be happy, but not for me. Wonder why.
People said, I must be grateful.
People congratulates me.
But why I'm not even happier?
Seems like I want to skip all the things and make it free.

Tired?
I don't want to say that word, I promise myself.
But for now, it almost, almost the limit.

Would somebody mind to let me free?
Or I should ask for umpteenth times to make it happen?

Don't ruin everything

HELLO


Just a short post, bloogy. Don't panic.


After that short conflict, I think I know what should I do right now.
Be neutral. Let it happen like what it should be. Remember norms, ethics, and conditions.


Dear me,
Just don't ruin everything. Please, don't ruin it. Please.

I lost my appetite

HELLO


Another spare time between meetings in the rainy evening.
Frosty and what to say-I lost my appetite since this morning. What a dumb.
Do you want to choose what's the topic for this session?
Fortunately no, I'll take my round, as usual. So, please just listen.


Lately, 9gag always posted about "friend zone".
Maybe for some people, it's kind of teasing. And the rest of it, it's just kind of jokes.
Me and my girl-friends was talking about it yesterday, so that's why it passed my mind.
Should we take up about friend zone now?


....No, I lost my appetite too about it.
Okay, okay. Don't hit me with your grumble face like that, bloogy. That's lousy.
Someday, we'll talk about it.


Guess I lost my appetite to write another topic.
Then it ends here.


p.s. Does anybody knows how to neutralize something?

Eat this Stupidity #1

HELLO

Happy grow older, Kid!

Be mature and eat this stupidity!

Sincerely,

Us.

Webcam Toy Season

HELLO


What a rare moment for me to write you in this cloudy afternoon.
After met 3 people from Art major (fyuh), now I'm waiting for first meeting with my mentees on 4.


Let's see, a few days ago I found unique Chrome application named Webcam Toy from Neave. And it's really cool ha-ha-ha
First, I'm just trying with self-camera then I asked my friends in my major to try and it becomes huge.
Love the effects and the funny atmosphere when you were taking pictures with your friends :)
The other cool application is pixlr, you can try to edit some pictures with sooo many instant effects there.


Here some pictures ( just a few from hundred pictures) :

 

So, ready to take a picture?
Webcam is ready :)


p.s. I bet you'll try after you read this post haha Go get some fun! :)

Restrain is doesn't enough

HELLO


...And we meet in the middle of night again, disappointed?
You can take a deep breath because I won't be so long crashing you with my unspeakable chit-chat.
I'm in the middle of deadlines-weekend deadlines- for sure.
So I take my time for a while, here with you, release the force then go back to work.


My dear bloogy,
Your guess is right, satisfied?
I'm talkin' about that, restrain is not effective. I'm trying, but still it didn't work well.
I wonder why, is it that superb so not that easy to erase all things, what we've talk, what we've done before?
I never wonder why is it that hard to make it neutral.
Or because the denial came from presence of mind.
But, for God sake, I don't have any other choice except release all the things.
Restrain is doesn't enough.


Okay, deadlines is waiting.
Smell ya later.




p.s. I just don't want to ruin it all, my friend. Even though we've already know what's between.

We meet in the morning light!

HELLO


We meet in the morning light, how coincidence!
Just have some sleep after Marching Band practice last night (..actually this morning).
I think I got fainted after that, oh well that's okay so that we meet now, bloogy.
Class on 9, and I'm still sag in the cuddle of this-ultra-comfort-bed.
Gonna get fast, let's start the morning short break!


A few days ago, I've a random conversation or let's say share session with one of my friend about a problem -his problem.
And what it was?
I won't write it completely because of the limited time.


Which one is deeper, heavier, and you stuck in the consciousness.
It's about restrain again, actually. 
You, in your cognition, have to restrain so that the other one won't exceed the first.
Don't ask about how hurt and hard is that.


Let's say..what will you do if in the realization you can't handle it?
Should we choose the ideal condition and play save, or trying to be honest with yourself and follow Johnny Depp's quotation?
It's a difficult choice.
In that short time of babble, my friend said its better to leave it all, all of them.
So we'll have the same score. What a justice.


You can't lie yourself, how hard you forced yourself to restrain it and just pretending like nothing happened.
How long will you survive with pretense?
Final decision is just to be yours and you have to think about it.
And that coincidental conversation ends here, because he had to do his job that time and I had to practice (again).
Enough is enough.


Well,
It's really morning now..with unique date 11-11-11.
Are you ready to start your day?


p.s. Guess we need to meet in the morning more often, bloogy.

Sometimes, you just need to be impulsive

HELLO


I'm still wake up after 13 hours journey from my hometown to Bandung.
Traffic congestion, as always.When is the time of flying-car revolution?
Fortunately, It's all healed with one of my favorite food and stupid conversations. Thanks for the time.


Sleepy and dizzy comes, makes me want to sleep right now but I've to wrote something before I jump to my bed (although now I'm on my bed).
Hurry. what do you want to talk, bloogy? Smart choice and light topic, please.
I think it's gonna be a short post.


I never imagine before how fun it is when you do an impulsive activity.
But now, I enjoy it.
Sometimes, impulsive is better than a well-planning activity.
You need it, impulsive, to make differences between your daily (-and usual) activities.


Do a random thing with random people! Try a new thing with new people!


How big is your curiosity about that two statement above?
Not that big? Or this big?


Sometimes, you just need to be impulsive.
Because of that, you will know how "fun" it is.


Laterm I'll write more about impulsive.
But for now, it's enough, dizzy dizzy everywhere.


p.s. I've done it 2 times today, oh well.

Restrain

HELLO


Midnight distraction, awake after getting some sleep for tomorrow.
What's the midnight snack now?


Then, the random topic is...how about restrain?
What I means here is about keep your feeling and refrain from something.
Why sometimes you should forbear yourself?


Maybe some of you ever feel something which I wrote below :
You grin and bear your pain so that people won't worried about your condition,
You keeping a straight face when people distract your attention,
You keeping your temper and try to bear a cross about something that made you angry,
You keeping your feeling not to like someone else even though the fact is reverse and you can't deny it,


..How hurt is that?


Restrain is not as easy as you said and not as hard as it seems.
Somehow it's a positive but can be your negative.
How can be you refrain when you know that you're already deep in tortured?


..Isn't that hurt?


You can release it, sometimes. You can release it, my friend.
Make efforts is good, but don't impose yourself too much.
It's okay, no one would blame of your decision.
It's not about right or false, it's not about logical and imaginary.
All you need is just let it go, and see what will happen next.


'Let it go'?
Isn't that sounds weak and resigned to the situation?
No, it's about relieve yourself and open your eyes about something burried that you really want.
Should you ask to yourself or themselves, "Please let me go." so that you can release all your pain and hardness?
Or you still want to try keep your feeling and forbear it yourself?


Whatever you do,
The truth, even if it hurts, is better than anything.
And you can't restrain it.


p.s Self-experience ? Some of them, yes. Just described it, my friend.

Another busy things

HELLO


Well, it's so rarely when I write two times in a day like this. But surely, it's because the repeated error installation of Android ADT Plugin (bla bla blah - freak detected!)
My outdoor wireless is died, that's why I'm here, in the living room alone, doing the emoticon assignment for tonight's deadline.
Enough for that.


How is it..
Let's pick one of random topic, as usual.
I've ever talked about 'busy' things in the last post. Don't get bored.


Actually, what things that make you look busy in front of the others?
Even though you know that you're not that busy anyway.


From the other side, Do you ever think that you're the busiest person all over the world?
Even though people around you, whether they aren't look that busy but they have their own business which you'll never know.


And do you mad when people said, "You're just pretending to look busy, so people won't distract your activity." ?
Even though you're in your end-point condition with your never-ending-assignments.


Or do you mad when people said, "Ah, you're too busy for doing this things."
Even though that isn't true and you want to scream "I'm not that busy!"


Well...
Busy or not busy isn't the important things, that's about choice.
The point is, how you make yourself look 'normal' in front the others.
Sounds easy, but not that simply doing.
And me, I haven't succeed for doing it until now. But it should be.


***


I think I get frustated, should I ask for a help tomorrow instead of waiting this installation?
Let's try again, once or two more.
Here we go.




p.s. I've said "random topic" at first, but in the end, it always something that ever or still happened in my life.

Abstract of reality

HELLO


So how was it, my dear fellow?
Mine is..well,
After the graduation euphoria yesterday, it always comes to my mind, about life and choices.
Sounds serious, but sometimes we need to think about it.


What will you do with your life?
For the short time, after graduation?
Maybe some of you already know what will you do later, but some of you still sink in the abstract of reality.


Abstract, because you haven't know what will you do next.
Abstract, because you haven't decide which choice will suit you best.
Abstract, because you still don't want to think about your future and choose to enjoy your life for now.
Abstract, just because.


For one case, one of my senior in my major,
How he can be so inspirative in life, in organization, in socialita.
He know what will he do in his future clearly, ready to step on his path and walk forward.


Then I see me.
And how was it?
I haven't see the person who is ready to face her future.
She's still trapped in her zone, doubted to find her way out.
Haven't know when is the right time for change all of the fettle.
What is this anyway..


p.s. Happy Graduation, graduates. Good luck!

Turned back

HELLO


Now everything's turned back.
Vulnerable, huh?
Invisible, like what you seen to me and like what I've done in the past.


Well, just keep on doing what you're doing now. Yes, my fault, you're right, you're free, good luck.
And it would be better if it wasn't a revenge.
Or is it?

Hello, Zombie. Hello, Panda.

HELLO


Random meet at night, how long since the last time we did this, my dear bloogy?
I don't even remember.


Looks like there's so many things I have to do until I left my time for myself. Sometimes I need time for sleep outside the class or just take a rest and doing nothing.
Busy? No, me not.
Actually, I don't really like when people called me busy or activist because of my daily activities. Guys, there's a LOT of people who's busier than me, so please stop for calling me like that.


But, they said I enforce myself. I forced myself to benefit others.
He said, he didn't expect that it will be this hard for communication, moreover arrange a meeting.
My mom said, "When will you sleep properly?"


I think I turned into something else called zombie or panda, err, no- just the eyes.
No sigh, no complain. This is my choice so I must finish it.


Maybe the title should be changed into :
When is the last time you have a "me-time" ?


p.s. Like a bot - do you know what's the meaning?

So it was awesome

HELLO

So it was awesome. Glad to have family, best friends, and friends like them :)
It wasn't about 1 to 2, or 2 to 3.
It is about our step in life. Live your life.

девятнадцать

привет,


До свидания, подросток.

Unconscious

HELLO


Well, it's been a long time since my last writing. Are you feeling well, bloogy?
Now I'm waiting for the next class then I remember you.


Just a random think.
Which one you prefer to choose? You being rude to others just for once then you free OR you sink forever in guilty and no one will be hurt (except you).
If I could, I want to let it go. But it's not as easy when you said, "Please, let me go." then it's over? No. Not that easy.


Force your self not to claim your reality is the same when you said, "No, I don't like it," or "No, it won't be." while you've already know the truth.
Keeping your mind by yourself isn't that easy, sometimes you want to share it but that's mean you've ready to crush it all.


So, who's better to be hurt?
No one? What a cliche.
Please don't just stay in your imagination that everything will be all right forever. Yes, I ever said that line, but for this condition, no, it won't be all right.


So, what I said just now? Wow I wrote it unconsciously.
Forget it, my class is about to start now.

It's not about what you get but what you give.

HELLO

So, I'm back again. Miss me bloogy?
Like I said before that during last summer I've been somewhere doin'' some project for about almost 7 weeks. Where? Somewhere.
Life changing experience, my turning point, amazing, unforgetable moment, etc etc etc like all Exchange Participant always said when they were asking by people about their internship.
Me? Well, actually it's not a big different with it. But I can't write all my experiences here because I don't know how to write it all -haha.

I remember the time when I asked by her about what kind of things that I expected from my internship. It was about 4 months ago in the early morning at 3 a.m.
Just a line, "It's not about what you get but what you give."

I keep on that words during my time here because you'll never know what will you get and sometimes everything's happens below your expectations.
First time is always hard but later it won't be.
I give my best, I never think that did I get things in the same amount with what I give to them.
And by keeping that line in mind, I get more than I give.

I said that line too in candle ceremony, and one of my children said that, "I'll keep your words in my mind so that I won't forget you. Spokkoi nochi (Have a nice dream)." then she hug and kiss me before she went to the bed.
Just a little thing but I was very happy and touched..

Many things happened behind this special line, special for me.
But time's out, I need to sleep first because I think my eyes don't want to have a deal now.
So, until next time.

p.s. Neutral, I think.

News from here

HELLO

So it almost 3 weeks I'm in here. I have a trouble with internet connection because there's no internet connection AT ALL in the camp so today is my last day for having it before I'm going back there this evening.

I'm doing great here. I can't write too much because of the limited time. Here some pictures :

I left my hometown on 17 June 2011. Now it's better because my mom sent me a lot of pictures about her condition now :) I'm sooo glad because I left her right after the operation.

Well, I'll write again in the end of July. Wish me luck.
Russia is great, also the people inside.

How to call it ?

HELLO


"It's better for doing stupidity like this than pretending not to care each other."

nice quote.

I'm not sure

HELLO


What would you do when you need somebody to talk but you are not sure about the people around you ? Even though that people is your relatives or someone who is close to you ?
Now I'm handle it myself and have no intention to talk about it again.


No, I don't need the words "Sorry.." or "I'm sorry to hear that," or "Hey, wanna going somewhere to release your stress ?" or "Oh come on, keep up your spirit !"


All I need is just, "Everything's okay, don't worry."
And that's should be happened.


p.s. I'm sorry for using a lot of tissue paper today :'(

A quote

HELLO

"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn't have fallen for the second."
-Johnny Deep

Quoting a favourite quote by one of my friend, Agastia Cestyakara when we had a random night with 2 others. The quotation doesn't describe my condition now but we like that quote because that's totally true.
Don't you agree ?

Don't be naive

HELLO


Today a got a new lesson for not being too naive with the other people, especially new people that you've just met.
Not all the people are like what you think.
People aren't forever doing the tolerance, kindness, or respect with others.
I talk about diversity, not about diversity in racist, religions, customs, or traditions.


Diversity of personality.
I don't mean that you must be prejudiced whenever you've just acquainted with new people, but don't lean on them easily.
Bound your self first until you think that this is the right time for release the boundary.
Don't be naive, not all the people like what you think, whether it's positive or negative.
That's all.


p.s. Writing you on my Black List ? No, I don't have any. I'm not like someone who is writing people's name so easily on his blacklist

It's not always like what it seem

HELLO

It's is 00.51 a.m and  this is a random post between the hectic time of tasks,

I rest my eyes for a moment and I found it.

Maybe some people doubted about our relationship, but it's not always like what it seem.

Well, you know what I mean, I'm not expert in making words.

ps. this pic taken by ucup on February 17th 2011 after TC IOMBC, it use for backdrop.