HELLO

'Sup?
Finally I have time to write you here, with one topic between a-lot-of-pending-random-trashy-topics.
Curious?

Last day I have some random time, talking about..well, not about anything, because it was so random. The highlight here is about regret. How classical.

The first idea is start when I said,


"I feel like I'm not doing anything this holiday."

That's because an event as my responsibility which consume most of my holiday time. Even though I made my holiday project plans (like what I wrote here some weeks ago)
Then, this person start counting since the first day of holiday (which was December 19th 2011) and asked


"What are you doing on ....(fill it with date)" one on one, date by date, until today.

I answered briefly. Lastly, this person said, 


"See? You've done many things on your holiday. Whatever it is, don't be regret."

Damn.
Guess I've regret so many things in life, about ages, about activity that I choose, about procrastination, about bla-bla-bla-whatever it is.
But never looked, what's exactly I'm doing last days.
What the hell I'm doin'? Bzzt.

After that, like what normal people do, I'm start not to regret anything, even though it's so cliche-classical-just saying syndrome. But hey, why not?
Whatever it is, don't be regret, okay? Nothing to worry about.

p.s. Write it with Somebody that I used to know - Walk off the Earth (Gotye cover). Guess I'm addicted with this song.

HELLO


It's a rare time sitting with you in the middle of day. Don't you wanna know why?
As always, I wrote here if I have something stuck in my mind and don't have any idea with whom I must talked about it.
Let's talk about zone, what zone? Friend zone.
No, not that "Friend zone" jokes on 9gag. It's purely friend zone with a lot of friends inside it.
I promise no other cheesy things in here, so watch about it.
May I start now? Gonna take a long time.


It's been two years and a half I've known them. Formerly, they're my comfort zone in here, college life.
Why I said 'formerly'? Because everything changes.
It's not their fault at all, it's a choice.
But more here, there's something wrong here.
Me.


Slap me, but am I wrong if I think that I'm already 'out' of their zone?
Yes, you can slap me or do anything what you like. Go on.
Maybe they think, it's non-sense.
Maybe they think, I'm over thinking about it.
Maybe they're not think about it at all. Not at all.


I'm shrink from this zone.
Feel like vulnerable, invisible.
I'm just laughed bitterly when I remember it or see what they're doing there and I'm here.
Not their fault, it's a choice.


Is it because unconsciously I pull away from them and doing other activity outside of the circle?
I reticent to go back there again because I don't understand.
Maybe yes, I'm over thinking it when I feel different with their views, when I didn't get the joke, when I didn't laugh out loud or I didn't  feel same rhythm of the breath in this band.
I mad with my self, I want to go back to the times when it's formerly..
Call me a coward, it's okay.


Guess you'll give me advice like "Why don't you try to go back entering their your zone because not everyone thinks the same as you think before?"
or "Let it flow, don't over thinking it, just enjoy the one which is the most comfortable with you now."
or "They're OK without you, just go on."
or "Why so serious? Take it easy."


I wrote it not to ask for yearning, or advice, or anything else.
Just speak out what's on my mind because it's kinda hurts inside.
My dear bloogy, you must be irritated because seems like I'm so weak..lots of complains...sigh everywhere.. I know.
That's why I hate it.


Last, I'm sorry for anything.
Just because I don't understand doesn't necessarily mean that I don't care, my dear friends.
I just miss you, geeks :(


p.s. Friends-thingy is always forced the tears to come out. Just like now.

HELLO


Do you sink in the boredom? Boring time on holiday because you're not doing anything or just cuddle in your bed with blanket covering you and cellphone in your hand?
Wanna go somewhere but you're just too lazy to move?
Wasting your time with social networking, buffering youtube, eat, sleep, pee, eat sleep, and pee again?
Pathethic, you know. It's holiday, why you don't start for doing something different with your daily act?


Start from the idea of making a scrap book containing pictures of people in my life, but I don't want the ordinary one. So I made it, just called it Scrap Wall (not creative I know) because I display it on the wall. Simple -eh?
Here we go,
Begin with selecting thousands pictures of people around me, then edit the style so each of the photos is look like taken from polaroid camera -ehehe (Just because I want it so bad, but I don't have enough money to buy). Yayaya I know it's kinda weird.
I wrote some words on each pictures to describe it.
The concept is like hanging clothes on the string.


Select photos, edit, print, cut, clip it on mattress threads, hang it on the wall.
And here it is:








I divide it into some parts, like le me, family, besties, friends for life, stupidity, dancers, Russia, CG, MBWG, STI, and HMIF.
People right, you'll see memories through a picture.
The Scrap Wall I made is not well-arranged, but satisfied enough.
Scrap Wall Holiday Project : accomplished!
Next? :)


p.s. Do you want to try some? Different style, maybe? :)

HELLO


I wrote it when the sun start to rise, it's about half past five in the morning. A bit cold here *sneeze. Tissue please, thanks.
Feeling unusual, my dear bloogy? Do you miss the cold and darkness in the night?
And happy new year, although it's already late.


What if-no, we're not going down today.
Sometimes I just want to sit back and relax, drink hot milk, playlist on my ears, read my favorite book or dance my fingers on easel. No time limit and fly your mind.
No border, no bound, you're free to express anything.
Maybe it's heaven version 0.01


Skip that.
To be honest, I'm sad-or worried-or disappointed with myself.
Do you remember my favorite quote : "You're gonna be okay, you're not that weak?"
Seems like I ruin that statement with something that shouldn't be necessary.
For example, at that time I have so many task to do in the 4 or more different activity. It's classical. I've been there so many times since I entered college life.
I always said to myself that I don't need to feel tired or complain every time about my job because that's my choice.
"Finish what you've start!"
And I see, I don't like see myself who is start complaining every time I feel under pressure.
Who is she? I see someone not me. She isn't me.
That's why, I hope that from now, I could control myself better.
You said stop complaining all time to others, you should do it first, dear myself.
Just remember it.


Sorry for heavy content, and sunlight have already comes to my window.
Make some tea and enjoy your morning, everyone.


p.s. Something comes to my mind, I have to fly it somewhere.

HELLO


So we're in the end of 2011?
Time fly so fast. Living in a year but never feeling an exactly year.
What the hell I'm doing in the past of this year?


Like mainstream people do, they wrote about #2011memories or #thx2011 or #2012wish on their timeline for remembering what they have done in 2011 and what would they do in 2012.
Flash back, kaleidoscope.
Then it replace with resolution, rebirth, something new.
I just the same. But as usual, don't expect me to write in here or anywhere else. Would you accept my apology, dear bloogy? I got it as a yes.


New year eve?
My super family around me, long chit-chat, candle (real candle) light dinner, pray, laughter.
Who needs anything else?


Well, here's to another year of experience.
Formality, aproximately in 1 hour from now : Good Bye 2011 and Welcome 2012.


p.s. Finally I can drive after wasted my time for about 20 years. 
p.s.s Whatever the comments is, but, at least I can drive.

HELLO


Finally, I'm back to the place called home. It's a victory.. (applause please)
Because of the limited time so I made 'Holiday Project List' ! (applause again, please)
Okay wait, did you said that it's just a word and I would never finish all the list?
No, my dear. You're wrong. I bet it, I'll do it in a short time of holiday.


"When is the last time you did something for the first time?"


From that statement, I've decided what will I do.
And no, I won't write the list here, but I'll tell you some project that I've done.
A few days ago, my mom and dad have their 21th wedding anniversary. Oh and there was Mother's day on 22th December.
Randomly, I made it, Pop Art Painting for the gift.
Why? Because video is too mainstream (for me) so I decided to make another one.
Actually, it's not a real pop art because I think it's kinda amateur but yeah, satisfied enough with the result.
It took almost one day for finishing 2 paintings.
When I did this, my old passion comes up, but well it doesn't matter.
So here it is :




Not that good, but whatever.
Anyway, one mission accomplished.
Next?


p.s. I've a secret random project of stupidity (about them) but it's impossible to post in here, maybe later hehe

HELLO


Holiday scent is coming! Are you excited?
I think this semester passed quickly, it's like just a few moment after I came back from Russia but now we're in the end of semester.
No matter what, as usual, holiday is not always gonna be a pure holiday.
So many tasks to do and some tasks may get you frustrated, but hey! It's holiday!
Just relax even it just for a moment :)


So before the end of 2011,
Never think why stupidity is always crawls in.
Impulsive, as usual.
You'll never know about random time except you get through this.




Enjoy your time, happy holiday! :)


p.s. Guess how many holiday project that I'll resolve?

HELLO

So exams is over, wish for the best result and reach my target.
Randomly, I'm writing you some of my depressed.
Today is not good. Not good.
I talk about stupidity, not you. Don't praise yourself.
Having (some) conflict again, I don't like it and I don't want to make it far enough.
The important things in a friendship is not about essence, but how we're going through this with our own way.
Please understand, we shouldn't be like this.
Let's be normal, kids.

***

Out from stupidity,
You know, the closer to the date of the mark, I'm not even happier.
Not mainstream, because for normal people, they should be happy, but not for me. Wonder why.
People said, I must be grateful.
People congratulates me.
But why I'm not even happier?
Seems like I want to skip all the things and make it free.

Tired?
I don't want to say that word, I promise myself.
But for now, it almost, almost the limit.

Would somebody mind to let me free?
Or I should ask for umpteenth times to make it happen?

HELLO


Just a short post, bloogy. Don't panic.


After that short conflict, I think I know what should I do right now.
Be neutral. Let it happen like what it should be. Remember norms, ethics, and conditions.


Dear me,
Just don't ruin everything. Please, don't ruin it. Please.

HELLO


Another spare time between meetings in the rainy evening.
Frosty and what to say-I lost my appetite since this morning. What a dumb.
Do you want to choose what's the topic for this session?
Fortunately no, I'll take my round, as usual. So, please just listen.


Lately, 9gag always posted about "friend zone".
Maybe for some people, it's kind of teasing. And the rest of it, it's just kind of jokes.
Me and my girl-friends was talking about it yesterday, so that's why it passed my mind.
Should we take up about friend zone now?


....No, I lost my appetite too about it.
Okay, okay. Don't hit me with your grumble face like that, bloogy. That's lousy.
Someday, we'll talk about it.


Guess I lost my appetite to write another topic.
Then it ends here.


p.s. Does anybody knows how to neutralize something?

Labels: neutral