Don't be regret

HELLO

'Sup?
Finally I have time to write you here, with one topic between a-lot-of-pending-random-trashy-topics.
Curious?

Last day I have some random time, talking about..well, not about anything, because it was so random. The highlight here is about regret. How classical.

The first idea is start when I said,


"I feel like I'm not doing anything this holiday."

That's because an event as my responsibility which consume most of my holiday time. Even though I made my holiday project plans (like what I wrote here some weeks ago)
Then, this person start counting since the first day of holiday (which was December 19th 2011) and asked


"What are you doing on ....(fill it with date)" one on one, date by date, until today.

I answered briefly. Lastly, this person said, 


"See? You've done many things on your holiday. Whatever it is, don't be regret."

Damn.
Guess I've regret so many things in life, about ages, about activity that I choose, about procrastination, about bla-bla-bla-whatever it is.
But never looked, what's exactly I'm doing last days.
What the hell I'm doin'? Bzzt.

After that, like what normal people do, I'm start not to regret anything, even though it's so cliche-classical-just saying syndrome. But hey, why not?
Whatever it is, don't be regret, okay? Nothing to worry about.

p.s. Write it with Somebody that I used to know - Walk off the Earth (Gotye cover). Guess I'm addicted with this song.

Out of zone

HELLO


It's a rare time sitting with you in the middle of day. Don't you wanna know why?
As always, I wrote here if I have something stuck in my mind and don't have any idea with whom I must talked about it.
Let's talk about zone, what zone? Friend zone.
No, not that "Friend zone" jokes on 9gag. It's purely friend zone with a lot of friends inside it.
I promise no other cheesy things in here, so watch about it.
May I start now? Gonna take a long time.


It's been two years and a half I've known them. Formerly, they're my comfort zone in here, college life.
Why I said 'formerly'? Because everything changes.
It's not their fault at all, it's a choice.
But more here, there's something wrong here.
Me.


Slap me, but am I wrong if I think that I'm already 'out' of their zone?
Yes, you can slap me or do anything what you like. Go on.
Maybe they think, it's non-sense.
Maybe they think, I'm over thinking about it.
Maybe they're not think about it at all. Not at all.


I'm shrink from this zone.
Feel like vulnerable, invisible.
I'm just laughed bitterly when I remember it or see what they're doing there and I'm here.
Not their fault, it's a choice.


Is it because unconsciously I pull away from them and doing other activity outside of the circle?
I reticent to go back there again because I don't understand.
Maybe yes, I'm over thinking it when I feel different with their views, when I didn't get the joke, when I didn't laugh out loud or I didn't  feel same rhythm of the breath in this band.
I mad with my self, I want to go back to the times when it's formerly..
Call me a coward, it's okay.


Guess you'll give me advice like "Why don't you try to go back entering their your zone because not everyone thinks the same as you think before?"
or "Let it flow, don't over thinking it, just enjoy the one which is the most comfortable with you now."
or "They're OK without you, just go on."
or "Why so serious? Take it easy."


I wrote it not to ask for yearning, or advice, or anything else.
Just speak out what's on my mind because it's kinda hurts inside.
My dear bloogy, you must be irritated because seems like I'm so weak..lots of complains...sigh everywhere.. I know.
That's why I hate it.


Last, I'm sorry for anything.
Just because I don't understand doesn't necessarily mean that I don't care, my dear friends.
I just miss you, geeks :(


p.s. Friends-thingy is always forced the tears to come out. Just like now.

Scrap Wall

HELLO


Do you sink in the boredom? Boring time on holiday because you're not doing anything or just cuddle in your bed with blanket covering you and cellphone in your hand?
Wanna go somewhere but you're just too lazy to move?
Wasting your time with social networking, buffering youtube, eat, sleep, pee, eat sleep, and pee again?
Pathethic, you know. It's holiday, why you don't start for doing something different with your daily act?


Start from the idea of making a scrap book containing pictures of people in my life, but I don't want the ordinary one. So I made it, just called it Scrap Wall (not creative I know) because I display it on the wall. Simple -eh?
Here we go,
Begin with selecting thousands pictures of people around me, then edit the style so each of the photos is look like taken from polaroid camera -ehehe (Just because I want it so bad, but I don't have enough money to buy). Yayaya I know it's kinda weird.
I wrote some words on each pictures to describe it.
The concept is like hanging clothes on the string.


Select photos, edit, print, cut, clip it on mattress threads, hang it on the wall.
And here it is:

Messy fake-polaroid photos, almost a hundred.

Some Part.

Different Angle, you'll see STI there.

Label : Familia

Other side

I divide it into some parts, like le me, family, besties, friends for life, stupidity, dancers, Russia, CG, MBWG, STI, and HMIF.
People right, you'll see memories through a picture.
The Scrap Wall I made is not well-arranged, but satisfied enough.
Scrap Wall Holiday Project : accomplished!
Next? :)


p.s. Do you want to try some? Different style, maybe? :)

She isn't me

HELLO


I wrote it when the sun start to rise, it's about half past five in the morning. A bit cold here *sneeze. Tissue please, thanks.
Feeling unusual, my dear bloogy? Do you miss the cold and darkness in the night?
And happy new year, although it's already late.


What if-no, we're not going down today.
Sometimes I just want to sit back and relax, drink hot milk, playlist on my ears, read my favorite book or dance my fingers on easel. No time limit and fly your mind.
No border, no bound, you're free to express anything.
Maybe it's heaven version 0.01


Skip that.
To be honest, I'm sad-or worried-or disappointed with myself.
Do you remember my favorite quote : "You're gonna be okay, you're not that weak?"
Seems like I ruin that statement with something that shouldn't be necessary.
For example, at that time I have so many task to do in the 4 or more different activity. It's classical. I've been there so many times since I entered college life.
I always said to myself that I don't need to feel tired or complain every time about my job because that's my choice.
"Finish what you've start!"
And I see, I don't like see myself who is start complaining every time I feel under pressure.
Who is she? I see someone not me. She isn't me.
That's why, I hope that from now, I could control myself better.
You said stop complaining all time to others, you should do it first, dear myself.
Just remember it.


Sorry for heavy content, and sunlight have already comes to my window.
Make some tea and enjoy your morning, everyone.


p.s. Something comes to my mind, I have to fly it somewhere.