It's not always like what it seem

HELLO

It's is 00.51 a.m and  this is a random post between the hectic time of tasks,

I rest my eyes for a moment and I found it.

Maybe some people doubted about our relationship, but it's not always like what it seem.

Well, you know what I mean, I'm not expert in making words.

ps. this pic taken by ucup on February 17th 2011 after TC IOMBC, it use for backdrop.

It almost blows up

HELLO


I forget the last time I got angry in front of the people.
But today, it blows up, even though it's not in front of many people because it just me in my room with the pity victim : teddy-bear (I'm sorry, bear. My deep regret)


Mad and emotion.
It buried for a long time because of soooo many reason then I can't handle it anymore.
I hate the feeling of resist the emotion. It almost blows up.
I'm not showing the emotion with the others but then someone said,


"Resist your emotion, now go home then wudhu."


Then I'm going home and wudhu like my friend's suggestion.
It feels better, a bit.
Maybe I should take a nap for a while because I don't have any concentration for doing my tasks.
Preparing my self to fix it tomorrow.
Everything's gonna be okay (cliche).


And sorry for dumped it all to you, dear blog :(

General Question

HELLO


"Is everything's okay ?"

(No. I'm not okay.)
"Yes."

Box of 19

HELLO


Well, hello.
Everythings going fine here with a bit contrary but still handled.


Drop the sight in the purple life map which I made when I was in the first year of college.
It wrote in the box of 19 :
-Join Colour Guard National Competition
-Being active in HMIF
-Going Exchange.
I made it one and a half year ago, still 17 going 18. All I wrote just something that I called 'dream'.


'Join Colour Guard National Competition'
IOMBC 2011. I did it finally, with the committee's hard work for our desire, it bring me an amazing team I ever had. Despite it only takes 1 months but I never regret for get into this guard team. 


'Being active in HMIF'
Here goes for my student association, even though I'm not the type of activist but I will give my best for it.


'Going Exchange'
Never imagine that it will be realize soon. Finally I matched with AIESEC NSU Russia. Hope the project and everythings about preparation will going well. I'll see you this June, Novosibirsk. 


"You dream, you write, you realize."


Well, I can't wait for realizing my box of 20 soon.




p.s. You can do it too. Just try :)

Fake and Pride

HELLO

Fake.
Aftermath of the fake, I got it.
Pride.
Pride, this is too much.
Fake and Pride, are you happy with your own little word without knowing others ?
"No."
Is there any other reason ?
....

Are you tired ?

HELLO

"Are you tired ? If you can't stand it anymore, don't be enforced."

So it was me who said it and for this time I used it again, the thousand faces.
Forced smile doesn't look good although you think you were an expert on this.
Well, I'm not good enough to get your attention. Sorry for make you hard to face it. Even 'sorry' is not enough.


Forget it.

How weak

HELLO


"If the tears dropped, would I be reffered as a weak ?"


Seems like everything's turned to be my fault now :(

It's not cool at all.

HELLO



So it's already March.
I think the hectic month passed, but it's not.
I won't talk about how hectic it was or it will, so you won't be bored with assignment syndrom stories.


Well..

Lately, I often gets something in the eye.
Not because one thing or the things I'm doing right now, but also the random little things that comes into my mind.
Sensitive ? Maybe.

Crying is not cool at all. I hate if I can't handle it and that's happened.
Sounds weak ? I'm sorry.
Just ignore it.
Sorry.

Nobody's fool

HELLO


"If you're trying to turn me into someone else
Its easy to see I'm not down with that
I'm not nobody's fool
If you're trying to turn me into something else
I've seen enough and I'm over that
I'm not nobody's fool
And if you wanna bring me down
Go ahead and try
Go ahead and try"


Nobody's fool - Avril Lavigne


Just a random song from play list. I won't be your doll, this is my style.

Scratch

HELLO

Evening, a video camera, short hair, a stage of music, old smile.
Don't make me remember it again.