It's not that fun, it needed.

HELLO

(December, 3rd 2010)



The friday night, Is it fun ?

Why I asked about friday night, not saturday nght which is very stereotype ?
I just realize and found something that maybe contrary with my habbit.

A thousand faces, Is it fun ?

I ever wrote about the advantages of having a thousand faces, people won't realize your real feeling so you don't have to be worried for some reasons.
But, you'll be forced to smile when you're sad, hear when you don' want to hear, act like nothing happened when you're in regret and sometimes want to cry. I won't say that it is weak or it is coward. No, not at all.
I'm the person that often use the thousand faces for some reasons.
Not all the smile and the laugh is the real one.
Sometimes I have to laugh in order not to hurt the feelings of others, or laugh so that others do not know what I feel.
How hypocritical.

Fake expression, Is it fun ?

You may called me a liar for having fake expression, but it needed sometimes
Don't let something easy to let you down, don't let you cry for something that doesn't needed for it, don't let your friends always asks you with the same question, "What happens ? Why you look so sad ?"
Actually for me, that kind of question is really hard to answer because I don't want to look weak and make people think, "Hey you're not supposed to be weak like that."
Then here I am, almost keep it all alone except from some people. This time I really miss my old besties although the story is different from their life now and hard to tell it.

Why you still tend using it, is it fun ?

It's not that fun, It needed.
I want to be the me anywhere without the thousand faces and said, "Hello, this is me. Are you okay if I'm the person like this ?"

p.s. I didn't mean to let you have thousand faces, don't until you have it